Its all good

It’s been 5 months since my last entry & I’ve lost 10lbs. After gaining nearly 28lbs. Yeh…I know.

Not blogging isn’t to blame, obviously, that would be me. I know I started this blog wondering if it would help me succeed. Personally I don’t think it has but that’s not to say I’m done with it. It would be unfair to stop now. Unfair to those that take the time to read it, unfair to me who habitually never finishes anything she starts, apparently. I’m not sure if unfair is even the right word. Cowardly maybe?

A couple of months ago it was time to call for reinforcements. I had no focus, no enthusiasm & I had stopped weighing myself. You’d think by now I would know that avoiding the scales is a slippery slope for me, duh! A few weeks passed, then a few more & after the easter break I faced the scales. My weight had peaked at 17.10lbs. Seeing the number on the scale was a little surprising. But I knew before I stepped on that it was going to be bad.  This number is alot more than some of my male friends weigh. Nearly as much as my Dad! Obviously, it’s critical for me not to be this heavy at 32 years old and 5.5″ tall.

So after slipping into the habit of not really exercising anymore & eating pretty much anything I wanted, I remembered…”Hang on, this isn’t me. This is not the life I’m living. These are not my thighs, this is not my sandwich” It was like the Talking Heads song! And I had been “letting the days go by” So I arranged a chat with a friend of mine who is a coaching consultant Hypno/NLP therapist…general all-round Guru. He helped me understand that my lack of focus & bad habits go hand in hand. He helped me remember why I want to be fit & healthy in the first place. He gave me the kick up the arse I needed in a positive, joyful way, not critical or judgemental like I often am with myself. The whole experience had such an impact on me. It was just like someone switching the lights on. And thanks to his expert techniques those feelings will be with me forevermore.

One thing that stuck with me was that he kept saying “what is stopping you going for a run right now?” I didn’t tell him this at the time but I had just got home & slipped my pj’s on ready for a night in front of the telly. For a flash of a second I was searching for an excuse not to go. But in the same flash I realised I’d been making excuses for weeks. Within an hour I was out running, sweating and loving it.

I’ve now worked out a timetable where I run on alternate days with some  exercises at home & 1 rest day. I can make this timetable work well for me because, on a daily basis, it takes up little of my time.  

I probably don’t need to tell any of you the benefits of an active lifestyle but rest assured my goal is now illuminated. And even at this vast size of 16.12lbs, my life has changed for the better, forever.

Thanks Friends x

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Gently does it

And so, as predicted, everyone is on a diet. The New Year is already drowning in resolutions to lose weight, get fit, quit this, achieve that. By the end of January over 75% of people will have failed their resolution. A failure like this can be psychologically damaging; it robs people of their sense of self-control. It’s good to have a goal but does it have to be so intense? So severe? Give yourselves a break…it’s only January after all. A New Year resolution should be just that. A personal challenge that you have ALL YEAR to achieve. 12 months is a long time! I agree, it’s great to get started as soon as possible but gently does it yeh? Baby steps. And besides…you only really fail if you completely give up on your goal. It’s rare people achieve full success without a slight, temporary set back. Temporary being the key word.

I have fallen into the same trap year after year. Gorging on indigestible feasts and libations, barely moving from the sofa, while the lights from the tree cast a warm glow over well-fed faces. And the excitement, paired with dread, for the New Year detox. So this Christmas I decided NOT to over-indulge. On the weeks leading up to Christmas I thought more & more about “opting out” of the whole gastronomical affair, the tradition, the consumerism. Since, in the past, I’d been one of the New Year herd, writhing around in bloated despair, contemplating a marathon & only eating apples until March, I decided not to put myself through it this Christmas. Surely it was possible to have a good time without turning into a  female Geoff Capes?

Like many, I enjoyed a hearty dinner in fact this year we had Goose! A wonderfully tasty bird and well worth every penny. Of course the roasties were done in the goose fat (along with a few cheeky yorkshires). With my home-made steamed pudding, a late Christmas cake supper and plenty of Champagne, Christmas Day itself was the only day of over-indulgence. But even then, it was limited. No chocolates, no nibbles, nothing that was considered a waste of my chewing efforts.

Boxing Day…a bacon buttie & a tasty buffet. Probably too much Cider which I think is forgivable? It was a northern family knees-up after all.

Birthday on 27th; Tea ‘n’ toast, courtesy of my lovely mother in law, a glass of champagne & 2 x chocolate truffles, courtesy of Mum xx! Actually, the Birthday was hardly celebrated…a trip to the cinema (Tron 3D) which was somewhat spoilt by a repetitive bowel malfunction for yours truly. I blame the cider 🙂

But all in all I still had a perfect festival, made more so by the fact that now, my buttons aren’t screaming! Despite feeling great, I am still hell-bent on decreasing my weight. Which is why executing the plan to not over-feast was easy! Since I knew I’d still have this desire to achieve my goal (which I know has been dragging on now, sorry) I thought why not ease myself into the new year with the knowledge that I’d already conquered a binge-free Christmas. It worked, hahah! Smug I am.

Anyway, I’m off hiking now. 4 miles which should take me about an hour hopefully. And the picture above? Well…on one side I weigh 11 stone and it was September 2007. On the other, I weigh 15.9 stone, and that photo was taken 3 weeks ago! Which is which? Answers on a recipe card please 😉


Shut Up!

Hello again, yes it’s me I still haven’t gone away and given up. I hear you all sigh with despair & slight annoyance, but I just read in interesting article saying that talking about your goals can make you less likely to achieve them.

It said, and I can see their point, that talking about your goals, making them public amongst friends & family, gives you a false sence of completion, making you feel like you’ve already achieved your goal, so you don’t need to work as hard. It makes sense…I put my goal on public domain & haven’t lost a pound. The workouts have ceased, the running, the toning…I’m still watching the calorie intake, but I’m coasting along rather than actually achieving anything.

 But does that prove this theory, or just say more about me?

 Since I’ve gone public with goals in the past and succeeded, I think it’s fair to say this time round that my blogging about a goal has in no way contributed to its downfall. I take the blame on both shoulders for that one. But everyone’s different so I can’t speak for the masses. And I’m educated enough to know that simply talking about a goal, does in no way mean you’ve achieved it already. Trying to squeeze my ass into skinny size jeans vouches for that. 

Yes it must be nice to have a secret goal which you can keep for yourself so no one gets their hands on it and starts interfering, a quiet, calm success that pops out from nowhere like…”Kilimanjaro? Oh yeah, I climbed that last year. Didn’t I tell you? Oh well” type thing. But I think I like to talk about my goals so there’s some kind of permanent record of them. Something I can focus on and visualise. I don’t know…I think it’s easier to forget about something if it’s secret…if no one knows about it, how do they know you’ve failed? (by the size of your bottom Helen…your arms like Kate Moss thighs, your belly like a bouncy castle) Surely my body should be my visual…I see something, I want to change it, and change it for good…forever.

I don’t like my bathroom, it’s old, ugly and out of date. So we’re having a new one put in. Yey!

I don’t like my body, it’s too large, unhealthy and weak. So I want a new one please hahah!

The determination is still there you know…the knowledge that soon I will have smashed through my goal & beyond. But what stops me putting it into practice? Of course now I’ve the excuse that the festive season is encroaching. All those parties & entertaining…the food, the wine. And who wants to diet in winter anyway? That’s all they are, excuses. I’m so tired of falling into that trap. “Oh it’s too cold to diet pass me another lump of Double Gloucester please” If it’s too cold, wear some gloves!

I think I’ve been quite snobby and smug about the whole thing. Looking down on those who fail to seize their goals, those who moan about being overweight but never do anything. I’ll admit, I have metaphorically pointed and laughed when really, I should be laughing at myself! I’m the one I should be worrying about, not others. As MJ said, I’m starting with the man in the mirror.

I think I’m putting too much distance between the 2, good days and bad? I seem to be building this goal into such an amazing finale, a blissful crescendo, that I’ve almost put it out of reach. This ideal of myself is on a pedestal that I’m now straining to reach.

Oh I’m getting tired of my own voice. I just need to get over myself…stop putting too much pressure on. All these silly feelings and thoughts, analysing everything. I just need to get on with it, hahah.

Also, pictorial evidence on the way that I was once quite slim. My husband found some photos from the glory days of 2007. I’ll upload them next time.

Thanks for reading, xoxo


Despite my respite…I haven’t put any weight on! I’ll say it again…I…have not…put…any weight on! Huzzah!

Damon came home a week ago after being out of the country for weeks so we had some much needed time off together, hence no blogging.

but we did lots of fun things and only really had one lazy day so the walking, running & climbing must have kept the FAT at bay! (by fat I mean me stuffing 2 slices of chocolate cola cake in  my face at my dear mother in laws! Yummm)

So it’s back to work and back to it now. Back to the routine of exercise, work, sleep. Exercise, work, sleep. Bring it on!

Talk soon my little night crawlers!

xx

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No budging on these bloody scales again. But I am thrilled at my 10lbs in a week. Plus I’ve jogged & walked about 12k this week, done 150 sit-ups & 150 Press-ups (girlie press-ups mind you). The jogging felt good. One day it had just finished raining and the air was refreshing.

Plus my car is getting fixed at the weekend. I’m SO looking forward to having my Moomin back! Now all I need is my husband home & I’ll be happy  🙂

XX

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Another no weight-loss day! Never mind. I can’t expect the huge losses all the time I suppose 🙂

Looks like I might just be in for a 10lbs loss this week. Still, it’s going really well & I’m well focused.

Lets keep at it!

xx

PS – still no car. Booooo!

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day 5 and what a day

Sorry to say by the time I remembered to weight myserlf today I hadn’t budged a pound. But still, 10lbs feels good!

Tell you what doesn’t feel good though…driving your car & the clutch collapsing, on a round-about, on the Ring Road, with ya poor mother in tow and both of you needing a pee. We were towed home by the lovely Wayne though, and his magic towbar (no smutt please) which was very strange just steering/not really driving. So, new clutch needed then. it never rains eh?

Ho hum.

x